Walk in to any book store and you can find rows of “how-to” books especially on parenting and raising children. As a society we can crown a book on the top of the bestseller list if we think it will tell us how to do whatever we want perfectly.
So what happens when a Britain’s top child psychologist and parenting expert who admits having promoted the “how-to” obsession with her own books and television series says enough is enough and for people to stop reading the parenting books and use common sense!
In the foreword to her new book Dr Tanya Byron says something rather unexpected. The parenting industry, she declares, is marketing a “simplified and unrealistic view of parenting”. The raft of books and television programmes that has sprouted from the modern preoccupation with the “right” way to rear a child is not helping but increasingly disempowering parents. They are becoming overwhelmed and confused by a burgeoning industry that is presenting the most instinctive human function — raising one’s offspring — as a combination of easy tips and techniques to be learnt like a five times table. The genre, she seems to be saying, is a monster spinning out of control.
We want the instructions for everything. Sometimes, just because a book hits the bestseller list, too many people blindly put their faith in the book’s content. Somehow we may feel that if we just do what someone instructs then we can’t be blamed if it doesn’t work. How many times have you heard, “Well, I followed the instructions.” Yes, wisdom needs to be shared. Yes, how to books can be beneficial. But common sense must not be forfeited to a blind trust in another’s words because of a reluctance to use our own discretion in the raising of our children.